It’s no secret that the team here at BarkBox&Co. is a group of dog fanatics. But liking dogs or owning a dog is totally different from being a Single Dog Parent. As a Single Dog Parent, your relationship with your dog exists on completely different level from people who casually say, “Yeah, I have a dog.” As a Single Dog Parent, your dog is your roommate, companion, furry child, and yes, sometimes even a great excuse to stay in on a Friday night. Wondering if you could be considered a Single Dog Parent, but not sure how to tell? Here are 25 tell-tail signs to look for.
1. 98% of the photos your iPhone are of your dog, the other 2% being selfies of you and your dog.<h/3>
“No, I’m just doing my best Snoop Dog impression.”
2. You go everywhere and do everything with your dog. Your weekend activities and errands are separated into two categories: things I can do with my dog, and things I can’t do with my dog. It’s safe to say that “things I can’t do with my dog” don’t always get done.
Put your dog in a hip-sling on the reg? Yep, Single Dog Parent.
3. You post photos of your dog on Facebook and Instagram just as often as your friends with kids share photos of their children. You also know which Instagram filters make your dog look best.
4. Every eight weeks, you schlep your dog to the best groomer in a 50 mile radius to get a haircut that costs double the amount of your own. Do you feel guilty? Heck no. This is your baby we’re talking about, and they have to look their best.
“Hey mahs, are you sure this hairdo doesn’t make my butt look big?”
5. You frequently make up silly songs about your dog with their name in them. Even though you’re a terrible singer, your dog doesn’t care. Plus, there’s no one else around to judge you or tell you to be quiet, either.
“I just ruv being close to you when you sign my favorite song.”
6. Your online dating profile mentions your dog and your love of dogs no less than 5 times, and your profile photo is your favorite selfie of you and your pup.
“Why yes, this is exactly how the bottom half of my face looks, why do you ask?”
7. When you fly home for the holidays, you happily pay the round trip $250 airline pet fee, because, let’s be honest, you can’t imagine spending a major holiday without your pup by your side.
“’Scuse me, but do you think this will fit in the overhead compartment?”
8. Your friends and relatives send you holiday cards with pictures of their family; you mail out cards with a picture of you and your dog…. that may or may not have been taken by a professional. You’ll never tell.
“Smile for the camera? Mahms, I can’t even SEE the camera.”
9. …and you can honestly say that at one point in your dog’s life (and maybe every year since you adopted them), you have stood in line in the mall so he could get his picture taken with Santa.
“For Christmas, I would like a bigger mouth for my extra derpy tongue.”
10. You’ve come to terms with the fact that you might have slight separation anxiety. When you’re out with your friends or have to work late, you wish that you could text your dog to see how they’re feeling or find out what they’re up to.
If you’e been impatiently waiting for technology that would allow THIS to happen, you might be a Single Dog Parent.
11. Your friends know better than to set you up with a cat person or someone who is allergic to dogs. It doesn’t matter if he looks like Ryan Gosling; if he doesn’t like dogs or has to take a Benadryl just to step foot into your house, it isn’t going to work out.
No, no I would not.
12. You and your dog have an unspoken agreement about which side of the bed is yours and which is theirs. Sleeping in the middle of the bed? Forget it. You’re single, but you also own a dog, so move over already. And have fun hanging halfway off the bed in the middle of the night.
“If I fits, I sits.”
13. You rush home every day on your lunch break to take your dog for a walk. Grabbing lunch with coworkers? Ha! Who’s going to let the dog out if you don’t? Exactly.
…especially if it means getting out of the office and away from your cat-obsessed office mate for an hour.
14. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach…which also happens to be the same way to a dog’s heart. You’re not ashamed to admit that you’ve cooked food for your dog before, and you would do it again.
If the sight of your dog doing this brings joy to your heart, you might be a Single Dog Parent
15. You have attended dog-themed Meetups in your town called “Pups in the Park” “Pugs and Mugs” and “Bark and Wine” to meet other like-minded dog-lovers.
“Who needs a boyfriend when you can have a field of Golden Retrievers?”
via Huffington Post
16. Your parents have come to terms with the fact that they won’t be grandparents anytime soon, and have taken to calling your pup their “granddog.” Your mom proudly displays an “I love my granddog” bumper sticker on her CRV, and even has a collection of photos of your dog hanging on the fridge.
“Hey mahms, can you help me set up skype so I can chat with grandma?”
17. Since you live alone, you made sure to install a high-tech interior video camera that you can monitor from your smartphone. But not for security purposes; you’re just curious about what your dog does all day when you’re at work.
“When you were at work, it snowed in the living room!”
via rambo the puppy
18. Your guilty pleasure involves spending the night on the couch with your pup and watching a Real Housewives marathon. Your dog doesn’t judge you, steal the remote, or insist on watching sports instead of “this reality TV junk.” GLORIOUS.
“I really don’t understand why she would go and steal her best friend’s man after all they’ve been through, I really don’t.”
19. You avoid vacuuming for longer than a roommate or significant other would tolerate because your dog is terrified of the mean vacuum monster.
If you don’t understand this, you are clearly not a Single Dog Parent.
20. You frequently skip happy hour with your coworkers because you need to go home and spend time with your dog.
“Skipped happy hour again, huh? Lucky for you, there’s a drink in the kitchen that has your name on it.”
21. When your married friends ask you if you’re tired of being single, your response always is, “Why? I don’t have time for a boyfriend, I have a dog.”
“I’m all you’ll ever need ever in the world, right?”
22. Don’t have a boyfriend to dress up in a couples Halloween costume with you? No problem. That’s what your dog is for.
“I have no idea what is going on right now. But I’m pretty sure it’s great.”
23. Coming home to your dog after a long day at work is the highlight of your day. They’re always happy to see you, ready to snuggle, and doesn’t ask you how the meeting went or what you did to totally screw up that project.
Seriously, what could be better than coming home to this?
24. Your single friends often complain to you about how bored they get when there’s no one around. You, on the other hand never get bored. You own a dog, which means you get to enjoy hours upon hours of endless entertainment and excitement.
Is this better than meeting a blind date for drinks at the bar? If you’re a Single Dog Parent, it definitely is.
25. You know that some people might say you’re too reliant on your pup or even a little bit crazy, but let’s be honest: you would much prefer to be a single, happy dog parent instead of stuck with someone who doesn’t understand the unique bond you have with your dog
If snuggling with this little guy looks better than looking for matches on your dating profile, you’re definitely a Single Dog Parent.
Main image via NYDailyNews.